Busyness robs us of the gift right in front of us

It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. Rushing from one thing to the next, racing through life and feeling there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. I find myself at times saying “I’m super busy!”, as if being busy is a good thing; I’m being productive and contributing to life. What I am being is stressed, tired and disconnected.

“Busyness robs us of the gift right in front of us.”

One of the great things about being a yoga teacher is I practice and teach presence and mindfulness almost every day. When you practice doing just one thing at a time (such as breath awareness), you sharpen your ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate. When we practice one-pointedness, we are developing our ability to remain with a task for as long as it is necessary to accomplish a particular  goal. If we are to succeed in any endeavour, be it bringing an end to insomnia, anxiety, busyness, accomplishing a job at home or work, or awakening to our True Nature, the mind needs to possess the ability to remain one-pointed for as long as is necessary to accomplish our goal. The more you practice these skills, the easier they become and before you know it, you are more mindful in other aspects of your life. So when you become busy or rushed, you notice you are busy and when you notice you are busy you have an opportunity to make a choice. You can stay busy (and at times this is necessary and appropriate) or change your behaviour. We can choose also to be calm busy or chaos busy.

When we change our behaviour, the outcomes and consequences of our actions change too. I know this sounds simple and it is. The hardest part is noticing; being present enough to ask ourselves, “Is this behaviour or choice bringing me closer to contentment, happiness and peace or further from it?”

 

Tips for practising presence / mindfulness at home.

1. Do one thing at a time.one-pointedness

2. Eat slowly and mindfully (away from TV’s, computers and smart phones)

3. Focus on what can be done today. Think about tomorrow, tomorrow.

4. Plan your day before it begins. Ideally the night before or early morning.

 

A lesson in humility

” Mindfulness is more than a practice, it’s a way of life”

Just over 12 months ago I wrote this post but didn’t publish. It is interesting to look back over the past year and reflect on how I was feeling then. Now I would like to share with you this story…….

I consider myself a good driver. I believe myself considerate. I am decisive and assertive (not aggressive) behind the wheel (I learned that from my Mum who is licensed to drive small trucks). I do not intentionally break the law or speed, however it seems my intentions have been overshadowed by mindlessness. My husband has told me that I tailgate, not leaving enough distance between the front of my car and the rear end of others.

My heart sank as I was driving along a familiar road, having picked up my son from school, when I saw a policeman step out into the middle of the road and put his hand up signalling me to stop. Naturally I pulled over to the side of the road and he asked to see my license and then informed me that I had been speeding: I had been detected driving at 56 kilometres through a 40kph school zone. He wanted to know if I had a reason for speeding, I said “No, I was just talking to my son”.  I am not one for lying or making up excuses or bursting into tears. It’s just not me. I live by truth. So there I was faced with the truth and faced with the consequences of my actions.

Now I did not feel that I was speeding, I was not in a hurry, it was not a conscious decision, yet obviously I had been speeding, I was doing 16kph over the speed limit. Now I know this is probably going to upset some people, being a school zone: it was 4:15pm, well after school had finished, yet in this area the 40kmh rule applies at all times, not just in school hours. I would have known this had I PAID ATTENTION. There is no excuse.

slow-down

I recently got a new car, it is a zippy little car, a manual and it is so easy to speed, without trying. I found that I almost need to have my foot pulled back towards me, not to speed. I had only received a speeding ticket a few weeks earlier on the way home from work. It was late, the road was quiet and I was listening to music. I was pulled over doing 76kph in a 60 zone. Again: no excuses.

When I arrived home and looked over previous correspondence from Vic roads I realised that my license would be suspended. I had accumulated 12 demerit points in the last three years (six of them in the last four weeks). My heart sank. I went into panic mode. What could I possibly do to change this outcome?

This outcome is not acceptable. I will not accept it!  

I had no reason for speeding, I simply was not paying attention. I was not paying attention, and that’s no excuse. My mind raced and I laid blame everywhere but with myself. I blamed the policeman for having the audacity to pull me over. I was not driving technically dangerously but of course I was: I was breaking the law. I blamed my son and his loud music because my car has this great stereo – he plays angry, heavy metal or hip hop music. Is that driving me to speed? I blamed my new car and I blamed the system. I blamed everyone and everything but myself.

So I am faced with two options, the first is to continue to drive but if I suffer any more demerit points over the next 12 months, I would lose my licence for six months or I can accept my penalty and not drive for three months.

As I considered both options, the three months is appealing because it is over quicker. If I chose to continue to drive, how could I possibly not speed for 12 months, I ask myself?

But this thought is ridiculous – I am NOT MEANT TO BE SPEEDING AT ALL. So I thought, Ok, there is still some time before I officially need to make this decision, but I know it is coming. So I choose option one: continue to drive, drive my boys to school, drive to my classes, run my business. All these things I need to do and I need to find a way to do all that without breaking the law.

“I am practising mindfulness all throughout my day and yet there is still more for me to learn”.

I am annoyed at myself, for not being more mindful when I’m driving. I’m a yoga teacher. I teach mindfulness nearly every day. I have just come back from a wonderful seven-day retreat, teaching mindfulness and how to integrate what we learn in our yoga into our life. I am practising mindfulness all throughout my day and yet there is always more to learn.

As the first day progressed I realise that I am feeling quite calm and relaxed. I did not realise how rushed I must have been behind the wheel, just as I did not realise I was speeding.

It is great to have a mindful practice; but to stay present all the time is really hard work. I am interested to see if it remains hard work or becomes easier. I know already after just two days that I can feel this sense of acceptance coming over me. I find myself considering: Do I feel calmer because I have moderated my speed or do I feel calmer because I accept it?

I do feel calmer and there is a gentle sense of acceptance. I know there is no one to blame for this but me. No one, nothing – all me. I think there are probably quite a few lessons bundled up here for me. So I thank the universe for this lesson, this opportunity to grow. To deepen my practice of mindfulness, to deepen my observance of svadhyaya (self study) and hopefully to be a good example to my boys. I am deeply grateful for my yoga practice, it gives me this wonderful framework, through mindfulness and svadhyaya to grow, to access this deep well of peace with me.

The affirmations that I have been working with for many months now – “I am grateful for all the gifts that come my way” and “I am at peace with myself and the world around me”. These were really hard to say only a few days ago. I said them through gritted teeth. I did not really feel them or believe them but I said them anyway. And now I do feel them, I feel them more deeply. It is very humbling to lose my equanimity and then find it again at a deeper level. I love this journey.

“When we struggle against something difficult or negative or painful, this only gives it more energy, and the negative aspect gains strength. When we acknowledge the difficult element, letting it simply be, it comes and goes: but it does not get stuck. It does not gain power” Bien, T. (2006) Mindful Therapy.

About 2 weeks later, I paused to reflect on this life lesson. I am studying yoga therapy and understand that for change to take place, there must first be acceptance. I also understand that what you resist, persists. I was able to shift my focus from the ‘problem’ to the ‘solution’. I considered my initial resistance to accepting the following: my license suspension, that this was my fault, the amount of effort required to make a change for a lifetime not just 12 months and that my mindfulness practice had not been integrated into my life as well as I thought it had.

I considered the calmness I experienced a few days after being pulled over. Was it because I was driving more calmly or was it the acceptance of the situation? There is a deep calm that flows from acceptance. What a blessing this has been. I am becoming now more mindful of times when I am NOT being mindful. I am noticing when I am disconnected, my mind in the past or future and not in the here and now. So more and more I’m finding mindfulness in my day, in all my activites. I do a mindfulness practice, yes, I have moments of mindfulness, yes, but my intention is to be as conscious as I can be as often as I can. There have been a lot of lessons in this, it has been really wonderful.

When we are aware, we are back in charge, we see ourselves in truth. We see our thoughts, behaviours, the sensations in our body, our feelings and emotions as they are, rather than as we think they should be or how it could be. We are experiencing the truth of the moment. And yes that can be painful and sad, yet it can also be wonderfully liberating and help you affect change.

Acceptance is a pathway to peace of mind.

The 12 months have now passed and without further incident, my driving habits have changed. I have changed.

Welcoming the light and shadow

Does a snowflake, flung from an angel’s wing, trust the fall, 

not yet knowing the grand design or what it will become?

There is patience, a whisper of natural order,

as it follows it’s innate path, anchoring light to Earth.

~ Transformation by Myra Dutton

In the depths of winter I find myself moving between emotions; loving the gentle sun as it shines on my face, enjoying the layers of clothes that keep me cosy and warm, then feeling flat and demotivated when faced with overcast skies, grey and drab, or frustrated I can’t walk the dog as it’s raining.

Here are some recent pictures I took as I walked by the local creek; it captures both the shadow and light.

IMG_3099

There is peace to be found in acceptance; the inevitable change of seasons and to notice how our own natural rhythms and cycles are connected to those of the earth. We learn to value sunshine and shadow, light and darkness, activity and rest, work and play – to explore the balance; the yin and yang.  

IMG_3098

Yin characteristics are cool, wet, feminine and quiet, whereas the yang is the opposite: warm, dry, fast, masculine and extroverted. Winter is a yin season, a time for storing and conserving our energy in the way a bear retains fat by hibernating , or a farmer stores food for the cold months ahead.

 

The yin and yang symbol reminds us that both sunlight and shadow contain within themselves the potential or seed of their opposite quality. At the darkest part of the symbol is a small dot (bindu or seed) of light; at the lightest part, is a small dot of darkness. The challenge can be to accept the value of both the light and the dark.

yin yang symbol

At a time of the year when there is less light, we benefit from embracing the value the darkness. Think of a baby developing and growing within the darkness of the womb, or a seed in the darkness of the soil. The dark is good. It is a place for rest and renewal, a place of healing, wisdom and inner knowing.  We can use quiet, reflective and mindfulness practices such as yoga nidra (deep relaxation) and meditation to get in touch with this place within. Here we may find understanding, inspiration and insight into who we are and discover our heart felt desire, that which we want more than anything in life, for health, wealth or healing.

Here are some questions you may like to reflect on at this time of the year.

1. What aspect of yourself or life have you kept in darkness? What have you avoided, repelled or ignored?

2. Which aspect of yourself or life could benefit from warmth, compassion and light?

3. As the sun’s light strengthens over these next few months, what aspects of your life would you like to cultivate and strengthen?

I am running a 6 week iRest® yoga nidra course beginning Friday 9th August @ 6pm. If you are interested in exploring this practice of deep relaxation and self enquiry, please contact me or click here for more details.

Random Acts of Kindness – Pass it on

When we take time to reflect on our thoughts and actions we can learn much about how we interact in the world around us and how the world interacts with us.

Recently I realised some interesting things about myself…….

About 6 months ago, a woman I had only met a few times came to my door with a book I had mentioned on Facebook I would really like to read. She arrived with the book and a single yellow rose beautifully bound in a cream ribbon. Inside the book was a Ripple Kindness Card; on the front of the card are the words “PASS IT ON” and on the back it says,  “Someone has touched your life with kindness. Please put a smile on another face by paying it forward”. I loved both the gesture and the idea and ordered some cards myself through this Sydney based company – http://ripplekindness.org/

ripple kindness card

Over the next few months I would occasionally leave a card at my favourite cafes; I would order a decaffeinated coffee, pay for two and leave a Ripple Kindness Card for the next person who came in and ordered the same. Only once have I still been around when the card was played forward and I was keen to move on and hoped they didn’t know it was me. 

About a month ago I decided to leave a gold coin in a small zipped pocket in my handbag so I had change for a trolley when grocery shopping. I was pretty pleased with myself as I rarely have the right money and knew this would make my shopping experience much easier.  A week later after I had finished my shopping and replaced the trolley, I decided to Pay it Forward. I went back to the trolley bay, placed $2 coin in the front trolley and left a Ripple Kindness Card alongside the coin. On this particular day, I had a bit of time on my hands and decided to hang around and see what happened. Yep, that was a big mistake!

Before long I would see this play out and was a little excited. It only took a minute before the trolley guy came over and popped both the $2 coin and the card in his top pocket. I was so disappointed; how dare he ruin my surprise.

It wasn’t long before I realised that my feeling of disappointment was predominately directed at myself. Why did I need to stick around to see my plan play out? I wasn’t giving freely, but was attached to the outcome. Perhaps the trolley guy needed that money?  Maybe he would pay it forward. 

kindness1

I do believe that everything is as it should be; that we are, who we are, as a sum of all our experiences. I have learned many things from this about myself: to give without expectation or attachment to outcome, to trust in life and to be gentle to myself and others.

Life has many lessons for us if we are open, willing and ready to receive. I say, bring it on !

In the words of Maya Angelou; “If you get, give. If you learn, teach”. 

Namaste

I am enough, just as I am

I dedicate this poem to all the beautiful women in my life. I am moved and inspired daily by your triumphs, resilience, patience, strength, courage, compassion and love. Stand tall and proud in the truth of who you are.

Imagine a Woman

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honours her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past’s influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed in the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her true self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body’s rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honours the body of the goddess in her own changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life energy disguising the changes of her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

~ Patricia Lynn Reilly

Words matter

 

 

We express ourselves to others and the world around us through communication: who we are, what we believe in, our attachments and aversions. Much of this communication is through gesture, posture and facial expressions, while spoken communication gives voice to our thoughts and feelings. Each “word” is a creative union of thought and energy. Ideas become thoughts, concepts, language and your plans take on the energy to manifest in the world as the actual results of your intent and skill.

Do you honour your own beliefs and speak out when you should? 

Do you talk over others, or not listen well?  

Do you feel shy and afraid to extend your energy into communication?

Talking consumes a huge amount of energy, so choose your words carefully. At times it is appropriate to be quiet, to listen.

When you next speak, T H I N K :

T – Is this Truthful?
H – Is this Helpful?
I – Is this Inspiring?
N – Is this Necessary?
K – Is this Kind?

In yoga, the throat centre, vishuddhi chakra, represents our ability to communicate verbally. A well balanced Throat Chakra will allow you to communicate and express yourself more freely. You will realize that you can trust your inner voice and speak your truths.

Here is a simple hasta mudra (hand gesture) for balancing the energy at the throat. Bring the pads of the thumbs and middle fingers of both hands gentle together forming Akash mudra. As you sit comfortably, spend a few moments to follow the natural rise and fall of the breathe; to feel the body breathing itself easily and naturally. When ready, repeat silently the following affirmations:

akash mudra

 

 

I express my unique qualities each day

I transmit a unique frequency, my voice is heard

My communication is open, clear and harmonious

 

Spend a little time sitting with each and feel when it’s time to move to the next. You may like to simply work with one affirmation, see what resonates with you in the moment. Recording yourself saying the affirmations can be helpful and very powerful; make sure you leave enough time to centre at the beginning and in between each affirmation for the words can “land”.

Namaste

Why Travel?

Jonah Lehrer wrote in an article for The Observer (2010),

“It has long been said that travel ‘broadens the mind’. Now new evidence proves that jumping on a plane will not only make you smarter, but more open-minded and creative.
 
Several new science papers suggest that getting away – and it doesn’t even matter where you’re going – is an essential habit of effective thinking. It’s not about a holiday, or relaxation, or sitting crossed legged in an ashram in India: it’s about the process itself, putting some space between home and wherever you happen to spend the night. “We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next, to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again — to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more. The beauty of this whole process was best described, perhaps, before people even took to frequent flying, by George Santayana in his essay, ‘The Philosophy of Travel.’ We ‘need sometimes,’ the Harvard philosopher wrote, ‘to escape into open solitudes, into aimlessness, into the moral holiday of running some pure hazard, in order to sharpen the edge of life, to taste hardship, and to be compelled to work desperately for a moment at no matter what.'”
 

Here are some other great reasons to travel:

1. Travel gives us a sense of accomplishment: exposure to different languages and culture. Moving out of our comfort zone can be frightening but also invigorating. We are flexing our inner strength and sense of self.

2. We learn more about ourselves – we may open our palate to new tastes and our mind to new experiences. We may find that what we like and dislike has changed as we experience new activities and people. In learning more about ourselves we also open ourselves better understand others.

3. We become more interesting – as we travel, we learn more about new places and people of the world and have great stories to share with others.

4. Travel gives us perspective – we can easily become consumed in our own small world; our friends and families, our triumphs and challenges. When we travel, we open to something much larger and may realise that we often worry about the small stuff and may find more gratefulness for what we do have and have taken for granted.

As George Santayana wrote in his essay, The Philosophy of Travel, “There is wisdom in turning as often as possible from the familiar to the unfamiliar; it keeps the mind nimble; it kills prejudice, and it fosters humor. Romantic poets inaugurated an era of travel because they were the great apostles of open eyes. Buddhist monks are often vagabonds, in part because they believe in wakefulness. And if travel is like love, it is, in the end, mostly because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end”. 

I am leading a small group to North India in October 2013. If you are interested in travelling or finding out more about the tour contact Zoe at Peregrine Travel .

Zoe Rees – Private Groups and Charity Groups Consultant
Peregrine & Gecko’s AdventuresLevel 4/380 Lonsdale Street, Melbourne VIC, 3000
t.1300 854 439  |  f. +61 3 8601 4300
zoer@peregrineadventures.com

References

Jonah Lehrer in an article for The Observer (2010)

Pico Iyer, Why We Travel (http://www.cmi-gear.com/tim/travels/chapter12-travel.as